Who Am I ?

by Cynthia Bergsbaken

Throughout my life, so far, I’ve listened to other people’s views of me and believing them.  I’ve been criticized and judged as “not enough and needing.”  Sure, at times there have been many good views, but then at times there are some not so good.

I’ve had people see me as being snobbish, self-absorbed, cheat, friend, rotten- friend, nice, shy, nag, a chef, loud, obnoxious, male/female bitch,  a psychologist, a weirdo, intelligent, wise, always knowing, loving, nuts, and stupid.  So, who am I?

I’ve gone to psychics and healers looking for answers.  I was looking for validation on whether I was on the right path in life.  I was looking for validation on who I am.  One healer that I had never met in person, said “There is something wrong with me.”  Another psychic told me, “I had no passions.”  And yet another one told me, “I had a horrible past life.”

So, who is right?  Who am I?  They are all right.

But they are not exactly seeing me. They are seeing their own reflections of their own inner selves.  I am the mirror to others in life!  Perceive me and you will see your own reflection of your inner worlds that may or may not be healed.

To understand this a little better, lets look at this in an energetic way.

 People and animals have what we call chakras.  Chakras are energy centers that are located all throughout our physical and energetic bodies.  These energy centers take in others’ emotions/energy and they release emotions/energy.  We’re like computers with storing, recognizing, defining, and understanding information (energy).  Our energetic bodies have layers to it, one being called the Emotional body.  In our Emotional body, we store all our emotions from our whole life and from our Holy spirit’s past lives.  If we have never done any kind of self-evaluation/self-healing on ourselves (making a positive connection with the “inner child”, tapping in to our unconsciousness and facing what we have hidden there, and looking closer at our own fears and behaviors), we will have a warped view of our reality.  When our energy (Chi) passes through the Emotional body, it is met with all the unhealed emotions (fears, out dated beliefs, and negative emotions) creating a warped view of the world (our experiences) from what it truly is.   

Growing up did you ever try on someone else eye glasses?  Right away you noticed the world looked too far away, or the glasses made you feel off centered.  This is the same kind effect that happens when you go through life without looking at your own hurts that have been building up in your Emotional body.  So instead of viewing the world with a correct eye glass prescription, you’d have on glasses that were not truly meant for you, which makes everything look “off”.

And so, when this person that has never “healed” their hurts, walks through life, they are walking an unconscious life projecting their own fears/hurts on to other people.  They project their inner worlds (what goes on inside of them, sometimes they aren’t even aware of) of hurts on to others as negative emotions/behaviors. 

For example; A healer who I did not know and never met before told me “I had something wrong with me.”   She projected judgement, shame, aggression, and a very hurt inner world on to me.  She viewed these negative thoughts as being me, when it was her own inner world she viewed.  “I am the mirror.”

I had a psychic tell me “I had no passions.”  Again, she was projecting on to me her insecurities and her judgments.  

How do I know that they aren’t right?  “Know thyself!”  Understand who you are, your beliefs, your thoughts, your emotions and why you react the way you do.  Don’t ever let someone else define who you are!  Let me say that again, “Do not let anyone, ever define who you are!

All people will project on to other people.  Most people are not aware of doing this.  They get caught up in “I feel wronged.”, “It’s all their fault.”, or “I feel threatened.”
This, to me, is what Jesus Christ meant when he said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

The next time someone projects their negativity on to you, try:

-Staying calm, non-reactive.

-Stay in the present moment.  One way to do this is to be in your body and not in your head.   Feel a part of your body or feel something that is next to you, while in a confrontation.

-Be mindful of your emotions.  What do you feel?  Note this to look at later.

-See the insult or negative behavior for what it really is- the other person’s inner world hurts that are being projected on to you.  Remember, You are the mirror for others.

-Be assertive and not aggressive when needed.  Do not ever let someone else walk all over you.  In these moments, you will be the teacher (the master) to this person, telling them what they did, how it made you feel, and to not do it again.

-When able, ignore the insult/behavior.  Walk away from it and let it go.

-When a comment is needed, try using “maybe” or “is that right”.  Let it go and walk away.

-Pray that this person will receive understanding into their own hurts.

I would like to share this quote that I really enjoy and feel it fits right in to my story.

“Speak gently, speak kindly to those who falter.  Ye know not their own temptation, nor the littleness of their understanding.  Judge not as to this or that activity of another; rather pray that the light may shine even in their lives as it has in thine.”
 By Edgar Cayce reading 2112-1

So, you ask, who am I?

I am who others perceive me as.

I am who I perceive myself as.

I am who I truly am.

I am that I am.

Written by Cynthia Bergsbaken of Reiki in the Prairie LLC
Written for The Perceptive Blogger
Feb. 6, 2019


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