The Humiliation!

 

 

As I sat with apprehension, I started to realize, I will be the only one playing!  I enjoyed playing in the Pit-band.  The excitement, the adrenaline flow, creating joy for people, and the warm feeling of, "I did it!" 

This night, I was playing for the play, "I Do, I Do".  I was feeling a little nervous due to my solo part.
 As I sat there with my B flat Clarinet, I started to have thoughts of, "What if I squeak!  People will absolutely notice and really be disgusted.  I will cause comfortableness for others, and I will be red in the face.  Ugh!
As my solo came up, I decided to face this "fear”, this worry.  I faced it performing with a quieter tone then I should of, but I FACED IT. And I did it.  Not very loud, but I did it.

How many times have we "worried" about something that when we look back at it, it was pretty insignificant? 
Truly, I feel most people would not have noticed if I had squeaked my Clarinet during my solo.  If they did, they would of forgot about it in a matter of minutes. 
There would not have been any throwing of rotten vegetables at me if I had.  Nope. 
I wouldn't of been singled out.  Nope. 
My face a little red?  Yep.  But in the dark pit with other musicians, no one would of noticed my face.

At times, we worry about how others perceive us.

Take the time I was a young adult on a family vacation.   We made a "Rest stop".  When I was done, most of my family were all waiting for me next to our car.  The Public Restrooms (bathroom/toilets) are busy with travelers driving up, using the Rest rooms, and leaving.   So there are many people walking around all the time. 

As I walked out of the Restroom, my sister came walking up behind me. I was just about back to the car when she told me "I had a tail!"  What is she talking about?
 As I got back into the car, I realized I had a 15" piece of toilet paper hanging out of the back of my shorts.  When many women use the toilets, we place toilet paper down on the seat to sit on for cleanliness.  I didn't notice I had accidentally pulled one strip up into my shorts. 

At the time, it felt embarrassing.  My whole family was cracking jokes and laughing.   All those people walking by me, seeing this and laughing at me!  Humiliation. 

But as I look back, I have a fond memory to think of.  My family has a fond memory of me to remember.
No reason to feel embarrassed.  I had placed a smile on a person's face.  I had a funny memory for myself to think of and a smile when I needed a little laugh.

Allowing ourselves to get out in the world and be ourselves, whether we make mistakes or not, is the way to live an awesome, fun filled life. We all worry too much what others will think! 

I have read some books about people and the afterlife.  Many people, while on their death beds have said they regret living "so seriously."  They look back at their lives and realized they didn't have fun.  They were too serious about life.

Worry is a way of feeling like we are in control of our life, a situation, and/or our own selves.  Worry is thinking of the future.  Future events.  When we worry, we are not in the present moment.  If we were in the present moment, we would not be worrying!  We would find life to be peaceful and relaxed.  Worry does not work!  It does the opposite.  It sets you up for anxiety, makes you out of balance, and it manifests the very thing you're worried about!  (So I would of squeaked. )

Lets "let go" of Worry and welcome in "being ourselves", whether we make a mistake or not.  When we do make that mistake, it actually is "no big deal".   We still will learn and go on. We still are ourselves.  If our face changes to a brilliant red color, it will surely return back to the proper color.   If anything, we will learn that these mistakes can actually bring us some fond memories to remember during our life.  Shoot, I'm thinking I'll probably be "nicknamed" something like "tail" by my spiritual family in Heaven.  I'll meet them when the time is right and they will have this teasing joy in their tones while talking telepathically to me.

To help one relax and to re-balance, I offer Reiki sessions or a Tibetan Singing bowl session.  Each one will help to ease your anxiety, re-balance you, and create a calming effect. 
Reiki sessions can help find the root cause of your worry.
To let go of worry, we must identify the fear.  To let go of fear, we must face it, feel it, and give it love. 

By Cynthia Bergsbaken
of Reiki in the Prairie LLC
Https:/www.reikiintheprairiellc.com
July 13, 2020

 

Disclaimer by Reiki in the Prairie LLC and Cynthia Bergsbaken copyright 2015

I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or medical doctor.  These articles I have written, are from reading and experiencing them.  Many of these articles are my own experiences with my own inventions to heal as well.

If you have a medical condition-physically/mentally/emotionally, please see a qualified medical doctor.  Do not substitute my articles for proper medical care.  You are too important to the world.

I have used all procedures I have written about and have found them to be helpful as tools to help myself become a better person.   I am sharing them with you because used as a tool, they are helpful in Shadow working on ourselves.  (Shadow working is healing our inner shadows that are unconscious or subconscious.  Inner shadows are our belief systems, our thoughts, our behaviors, our life experiences.)

I created this blog for my Reiki clients originally.  Combining these tools with Reiki creates a happy, healthy person.  These tools, when used alone are also beneficial!

 

 

***All original content is copyrighted by Cynthia Bergsbaken, Perceptive Blogger & Reiki in the Prairie LLC.

Reiki in the Prairie LLC is a legal Entity under law, 2015.

April 11, 2020

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