Do I use a Crutch for Emotions?


As I was cleaning my house the other day, I came to the conclusion that addiction is anything that makes you feel good and you continue to do it because you feel you need it.  If you stop, you feel panic!

We as people use things and people as a "crutch" to handle hard feelings/emotions we create for ourselves.  Crutches maybe:  Drugs, alcohol, carbohydrates, chocolate, food, vaping, happy people, worrying, sex, etc.  These all can make you feel good-forgetting about your problems.  Worrying is a way people can feel in control of a situation.  Thus, they feel like they are doing something positive to help their dilemma.  

So instead of facing the hard emotion we had/have and accepting it, many of us tend to turn to a crutch.

Crutches are a way for us to procrastinate in facing and dealing with our own feelings/emotions/ problems.

I know many sensitive/empathic people can to turn to crutches when a strong, toxic emotion comes to them, whether it's their own emotion or someone else. 

I myself have turned to something I enjoy to make me feel happy again, such as chocolate.  

Years ago, I had wanted to make sure my Reiki energy was  a high vibration and strong. (Reiki energy is high vibrational and Divine, but Reiki energy needs to run through the Reiki Master/practitioner, thus the energy combines some with the Reiki Master/practitioners energy also. There is no-way Reiki energy is not combined some with the Reiki Master/practitioner's energy!  And so, the Reiki energy can be at different high vibrations, depending on the Reiki Master/practitioner's self-care and their own inner healing.  The higher the Reiki energy vibration, the more healing is provided.)  

 And so, I used to give myself Reiki sessions every night.  I did this to provide quality Reiki energy to my clients.  Giving oneself Reiki everyday creates strong, free-flowing Reiki energy.  But it doesn't necessarily mean you get a high vibration or even energetic balance!  High vibrational Reiki energy comes from the Reiki practitioner taking good care of themselves (self-care).  Healthy foods, no drugs, minimal liquor, exercise, positive thoughts, a lot of sleep, no smoking, no vaping, and healing from the inside --out creates a high vibrational Reiki Master/practitioner. When you combine the Reiki Master's high vibrations with the Reiki energy, you have a high vibrational energy.  (If the Reiki Master/practitioner does not have good self-care, negativity in them, little or no inner healing work, their own energy will lower the Reiki energy vibration.  Thus, possibly less healing.)  

After doing this for maybe 3 years, I had a "ah-ha" moment.  I felt a little addicted to giving myself a Reiki session every night and giving all my food & beverages Reiki.  Receiving Reiki energy feels great!  It is relaxing and balancing.  It made me feel I was a "good healer!"  But was I using it as a crutch? 

I found I had "guilt"  and "worry" when I decided to not give myself Reiki every night.  Guilt that other Reiki Masters felt it was "needed" to be a good Reiki Master to the public.  If you don't give yourself a Reiki session everyday, you're looked down at by other's.  You're made to feel like you are not a quality Reiki Master/practitioner and you do not provide quality Reiki!  

Guilt and worry that I would not benefit my clients as well if I discontinued everyday Reiki sessions for myself.

Yes!  I don't know if it was actually an addiction.  I was using everyday Reiki sessions for myself as a crutch!  A crutch to not face my own emotions in regards to what other Reiki Masters/ Reiki Master Teachers/Reiki practitioners would say or think if they knew.  This was a fear!  

I was using everyday Reiki sessions for myself to not face my emotions of being made to feel "inferior" by others and their beliefs.  Not-enough to provide a good service to my clients.  Fear of not belonging with the peer group.

By discontinuing my everyday Reiki sessions to myself, I pushed myself to face my negative emotions and these beliefs that were not my own.  

If I had continued on with the everyday  Reiki sessions, I would of stayed out of balance (even though reiki re-balances you energetically) due to my beliefs.

 I would of kept my repressed  emotions and beliefs stuck inside.  Thus, I would of stayed un-healed in this area.  If I would of continued on with my everyday Reiki sessions for myself, I would of received the benefit of not facing my hard, negative emotions.  The benefits were, I felt good/relaxed on Reiki energy, I didn't have to deal with my negative emotions regarding everyday Reiki, feeling inferior without Reiki energy everyday and my peer groups thoughts/words, and I didn't have to self-evaluate the beliefs here.  Thus, I felt like I belonged.

From listening to some Reiki Masters/practitioners/Reiki Master teachers, I find a lot of them tend to have another belief -   "Strong/loud" energy is the best Reiki energy.  Strong/loud Reiki energy is the best way to heal someone.  I used to have this belief also.  The more Reiki a Reiki Master/practitioner does, the stronger feeling the energy is. (fact)  So if your Reiki energy is strong/loud, it must mean it is a higher quality energy to heal!  (fiction.)

     *I do not believe this belief anymore.  It's like saying, a Rose quartz stone energy vibration is a better energy vibration than Red Tourmaline stone.  Both these stones are equally valuable in healing, but Rose quartz has a Steam-roller energy effect compared to Red Tourmaline which is a quieter energy.  They are used for similar uses with good results.  At times, strong/loud is not better.  Sometimes strong/loud energy can overpower, creating dis-ease instead of healing. 

     *Another example is of a child and their parent.  The child makes a mistake, creating a embarrassing problem in the family.  If strong/loud is better, then the parent will be very aggressive towards the child, whether with words or actions. Aggression is never the answer.

When the parent goes to the child with compassion, kindness, wisdom, and seeks to understand the motives behind the child's action, there is trust.  Where there is trust, there is understanding, love, and healing.

     *I remember going to my first Singing bowl meditation, years ago.  I was excited to be apart of this experience.  She had Tibetan singing bowls (metal bowls) and Crystal singing bowls.  Her belief was, if the bowl's tone created pain in you, it was healing you! 

As I listened, I started having pain in my ears.  I noticed the Crystal singing bowls were the culprit.  When played, the Crystal singing bowls have a single, strong, piercing tone.  Whilst the Tibetan singing bowls when played would sound like mellow harmonic tones.  The harmonic tones from the metal bowls was soothing and healing feeling.  The single, strong note from each Crystal singing bowl was too strong for my sensitive ears.  I ended up cringing and covering my ears.  

My belief-Any physical pain in you is a message to you to back away from what you're doing/ hearing.    

Have you ever had a bad day and you went home to only get into sweets?  or liquor?

Everyday, do you find yourself eating sweets?  Smoking?  Drinking liquor?  Using Marijuana mixed with food/drink products?  Drugs? Carbohydrates? Food?  Worry?  Workaholic?  Sex? Vaping? 

All these can be used as crutches.  For example, a workaholic.  A workaholic is a person who works hard and continually.  This type of person doesn't want to stop.  They pride themselves on being hard workers and have quality work.  But this can also be used as a crutch.  How?  A person who is constantly working keeps their minds and bodies busy.  

So busy that they don't have time to:  realize they are under tremendous stress.  Emotional stress and physical stress.  Some of the stress is from not taking the time to feel their own emotions.  They've been triggered emotionally at times, but they will not take the time to deal with their own emotions, they work instead.  They push the emotions away in favor of working.  They may be workaholics because they have a fear of boredom.  So again, they push the fear away by working themselves hard.  

Workaholics may have the fear that if they stop working continuously, they will feel boredom, they will not be quality workers, they will not be important, they will not be "top dog", or maybe they just are scared of their own inner emotions. 

Addictions come in many forms.  From my experiences in life, I see them as "something that makes you feel good, doing it all the time to stop having to deal with emotions(out of procrastination or fear), and you may rely/feel a need for  it." (In actuality it is a "want".)

I know for me, I've off and on relied on chocolate to give me that "happy" feeling when feeling toxic energy around me.  I don't consider this an addiction simply because I'm not doing it constantly and I don't feel it as a need.  But if I continued on doing it, not taking the time to stop and feel my emotions, continuing on with eating chocolate,  it would turn into an addiction.

I talked a bit about addiction and our Aura Health at   How addictions or toxic substances can be detrimental to our health.

I really enjoy watching "Reelz" tv channel, "Autopsy" of celebrities.

Every celebrity I watched on "Autopsy" had an addiction related to their death!  Typically, drugs, cigarette smoking, and/or liquor!  

Our emotions can be the most scariest, fear producing stories in our lives.  Scarier than the thought of death, as evident above in "Autopsy ."

Once we realize we're grabbing for a "crutch" and realize why, we are able to start to heal this.   Once we take the time to be with our negative emotions, feel them with courage,  we are able to heal them.  By simply being aware of our own negative emotions/feelings, we are able to watch them dissolve away and heal.

Of course, the longer we've held them (emotions) in, the stronger our emotions will be when they try to come out!  To hold in our repressed emotions, it takes more energy to do this then to summon up the courage and face them. To use your energy to hold in repressed emotions is to create dis-ease in your whole body.

 Facing our emotions is healing them.  Repressing them causes us to slow or stop the flow of our energy.  Using an addiction so you don't have to face your emotions will not only slow or stop your flow of energy, but it will create more dis-ease in your whole being.

When I give Reiki sessions to people, the Reiki energy will flow through the person's energy system, helping to break apart the "dam" of emotions that are slowing or stopping their energy flow.  But Reiki healing is not fully healing unless the client also takes his/her part in the healing.  Which is- every time a emotion bubbles up to him/her in their body, they need to be gentle with themselves, feel the emotion without using any crutches to repress it, and let it dissolve away.  After that happens, the client needs to understand why they had that emotion-trigger.  Self-evaluation.

If the client does not take part in the Reiki healing, eventually, the "dam" of emotions will start up again, reforming.  The healing will be effective but only for a limited amount of time. ( Whatever time it takes for the client to start repressing the emotion again.)  Thus, creating dis-ease again in the whole being.

Addictions can be hard to break!  But facing your hard, negative emotions can even be harder to deal with.  Combining your hard negative emotions with an addiction equals a disaster.

Find the courage!  You have this courage, you have the strength to master your own emotions and habits.  It's just making that commitment to yourself and God.

So to wrap this up, be honest with yourself.  Do you use something or someone as a "crutch" to get through rough times-emotions?

You are the only one who can answer this to yourself.  If so, self-care=self-love.

When we have self-love, we are able to love others in our lives.

***Note, I am not a medical doctor.  This paper is my own thoughts and some experiences.  Please take what you feel is appropriate for you.

And if you have a hard-core addiction with drugs, alcohol or even cigarette/cigar/vaping smoking, please seek medical help.

I have read that wearing an Amethyst stone can assist you with the addiction.  But you will also need medical help too.

Receiving Reiki sessions for addiction can also help.  You'd need to ask your Reiki practitioner if they are comfortable giving you Reiki for addictions.  But again, please seek medical attention as well.

Written by Cynthia Bergsbaken, Reiki Master of Reiki in the Prairie LLC, 9-23-2020.




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